I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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