Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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