is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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