Where is the hickey?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
