You work out of a Hotel?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
