So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
