She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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