please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
