Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
