Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
