This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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