What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
