the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
