I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
