At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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