what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize