I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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