I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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