no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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