i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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