It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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