I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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