Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
