And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
this boner is exhausting
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize