dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
