Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He passed out mid-signature
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
