Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
