Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
