Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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