Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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