Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
