We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
