Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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