Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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