JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
operation harelip BJ is a go
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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