Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
