really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I have already put on my inside pants.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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