Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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