Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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