wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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