she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
