he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
my poor anus
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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