Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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