he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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