it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
