Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
