If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
