garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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