how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
