woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
