great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
