so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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