And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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