i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
do herpes really smell.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm bleeding and have questions
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
