Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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