Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize