JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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