i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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