Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
