bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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