we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
