Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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