she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I will be naked everywhere
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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