He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize