Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Dick very happy bro
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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