you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
