my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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