I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dicks are not precious.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
