I heard we made out
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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