The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
